It's fuckin' cold outside.
The guy on the radio said it's gonna get down to 34.
It's 34.
That's freezing, for Christ sakes.
Yo, Chili! What, you spacing?
They're closing down the Granville. You know, that theater on Biscayne?
That guy owes Momo a couple G's.
I know. I was thinkin' maybe Momo should buy it.
I could run it for him, show some old Cagney movies.
What's Momo gonna want with some broken-down theater
that shows movies nobody wants to see anymore?
Outside of maybe turning it Into some kind of porno house,
he's not gonna give much of a fuck.
- I'm gonna go talk to this Chili. - Besides, you already got a job.
Yeah... yeah.
- Hey, Ray! How you doing? - Yeah, good. You?
Okay. Can you believe this weather?
Miami Beach, for Christ sakes.
Chili Palmer.
It's chilly outside, and it's Chili inside.
It's a regular fuckin' Chili-fest!
How you doing, Ray?
Obviously much better than you, Chili.
That was a good one.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, when you're done staring out the window,
I'll meet you back at the office.
Hey! Where's my coat?
It's not one of these?
Do you see a black leather jacket, fingertip length,
like the one Pacino wore in Serpico?
- 'Cause if you don't, you owe me $379. - Maybe you didn't see the sign.
I seen the sign,
but I didn't come to sunny Florida to freeze my ass off, you got that?
So you either find my coat, or you give me the $379
that my ex-wife paid for it at Alexander's.
Wait a minute. Ray Bones took my coat?
No, no, he didn't take it.
He borrowed it, 'cause, see, somebody took his coat.
So Mr. Barboni try this other coat, and it fit him pretty good.
That was my coat.
He was wearing it to go home, but he's not gonna keep it.
My car keys are in that coat.
Mr. Barboni is a good customer.
You know, he works for Jimmy Capp.
I know who he works for. Where's your phone?
This way.
Are you sure it was Ray Bones that took the coat?
That's what the man said.
Tomorrow I see on the TV weather it's gonna be nice and warm.
- You don't need the coat. - This is it.
Get the coat. Just don't piss the guy off, okay?
Then we're gonna have to call Momo and straighten the whole thing out,
and Momo's gonna be pissed off for wasting his time.
We don't need that.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna say any more than I have to, if that.
It's freezing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a minute.
What are you, fuckin' nuts?
My nose! My nose!
Holy shit! Somebody call 9-fuckin'-111!
What do you want me to do, Ray, go to war over a fucking coat?
You're lucky the guy didn't kill you.
The coat was a Christmas present, for Christ sakes.
Now, listen to me, Jimmy.
You gotta do something about this guy. He's running amok.
And he's got no fuckin' respect for none of us.
He's got no respect for you.
And I don't gotta do shit! Chili Palmer don't work for me.
He works for Momo up in Brooklyn,
so as long as Momo's around, nothing happens to Chili Palmer.
Do you understand?
Over here.
We're here, Momo.
I hope you guys checked this place out good,
'cause I'm goin' in there alone, and I don't want no fuckin' surprises.
Oh, yeah. I checked everything, Momo.
Yeah, who is it?
- It's Momo. - Get in here.
Surprise!
What are you tryin' to say... you're never gonna sleep again?
No, I said I'm never goin' to bed. There's a difference.
This article says that most people die in their beds.
I figure as long as I stay out of bed, I'm safe.
What? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of.
Where you gonna sleep?
In my recliner.
You know, the tan one in the TV room.
Or I'll go to the coffee shop, slide into a booth, pull my hat down.
Hey, how many people you know died in a coffee shop?
Cut straight hair in here or just fags?
Hey, Bones. That's quite a scar you got on your head.
Why don't you have these guys fit you for a rug,
cover it up for you?
You two geezers take your game to the park.
This man is the man.
You understand what I'm sayin', motherfucker?
He's Mr. Bones, and you speak to Mr. Bones from now on.
Come on. You can do better than him, can't you?
Not these days. Not unless you speak Spanish.
You got a miss. Leo Devoe... he's six weeks over.
He's dead.
How do you know he's dead? Did he tell you?
Yeah, he told me that he was dead.
Personally?
Yeah, Ray, he personally told me that he got killed
in that Getaway jet crash that happened a month ago.
Maybe he took out some flight insurance.
Go check with his wife.
You check it out. It's your book now.
He owns some dry cleaning store over on Federal Highway.
Let me explain something to you.
Momo is dead, which means that everything he had
now belongs to Jimmy Capp, including you,
which also means that when I speak, I speak for Jimmy...
e.g., from now on,
you start showing me the proper fucking respect.
"E.g." means "for example."
What I think you want to say is "i.e."
Bullshit, it's short for ergo.
Ask your man.
To the best of my knowledge, "e.g." means "for example."
E.g., i.e., fuck you. The point is this...
when I say, "Jump," you say, "Okay," okay?
Yeah, Ray. Okay.
Now, you owe me the dry cleaner's 15 G's,
plus the juice, which is another...
2,700.
You either get it from his wife or outta your own pocket.
I don't give a fuck,
but you never hand me a book with a miss.
We'll see you, Ray.
Go see the dry cleaner's wife. You got three days.
I told you not to piss him off that time. You remember...
Don't say another fuckin' word, all right?
I hate the dry cleaning business.
I hate being inside all day around all those machines.
Must be hot.
You have no idea how hot it is.
You know, Fay, I was... I was wondering...
did Leo have life insurance?
I don't know of any.
I trust you, Chili.
I think you're a decent type of man, even if you are a crook.
Oh, thank you. Thank you, Fay.
I wish he really was dead.
He's a son of a bitch.
Yeah, that's him, all right.
Called himself Larry DeMille. Hit on every showgirl in town.
He told me he was the Martinizing king of Miami.
What a moron.
Anyway, you want this guy, he's in L.A.
We put him on a plane after he spanked one of my cocktail girls.
- Leo spanked a cocktail girl? - Apparently, the way it went...
...he invites her to Santa Anita to play the ponies with him.
She tells him what he can do with that.
He gives her one on the tush.
My guess... he's by his lonesome at the track right now.
Hey, Chill, if you decide to go to L.A.,
this guy owes us 150 grand.
60 days over. Some movie producer.
Movie producer? Really?
- Yeah. - Yeah. Why not?
Appreciate that, man. You're gonna love this guy.
Another fuckin' moron. Harry Zimm.
All right. Thanks a bunch.
- Where is it? - It's right there.
Well, what is that?
- It's an Oldsmobile Silhouette. - I ordered a Cadillac.
Oh, well, yeah, that's the Cadillac of minivans.
Are you kidding me?
Hey, you want, La Tijera Car Rental is right over there,
but I think all they got Is Rabbit convertibles.
Guess I'll take the Cadillac of minivans.
Harry! Harry, goddamn it, wake up!
Wake up. Somebody's downstairs.
- What's wrong? - Somebody's downstairs.
Be quiet. Listen!
- I don't hear anything. - Right there.
It's the television.
When I came upstairs, you stayed downstairs to finish your drink.
I told you to turn off the television when you were through.
I also told you you could sleep in the maid's room.
Yeah, well, I did that.
I turned the television off with the remote thing,
then I laid it on the floor.
You know what could've happened?
The dog came in, stepped on it and turned the television back on.
I don't have a dog, Harry.
You don't?
What happened to Muffy?
Harry, are you gonna go down there or do you want me to do it?
No, I'm going.
Hurry!
Anybody skimmin' the pool? It needs it.
I'm goin', I'm goin'.
I've gotta go to the bathroom.
All right, I'm going. I'm going.
Jesus.
Do you have one of those satellite dishes?
No satellite dishes.
Now. Where live... how many channels do you get of television?
Oh. Probably 40. 50 channels.
Are you on the information supenighway?
No. not yet.
Where live... and get all of the premium services on my cable...
get 2.800 different channels.
2.800 channels? No kidding.
- F wanted. Could... - Harry Zimm.
Jesus Christ!
How you doing? I'm Chili Palmer.
Jesus! If I have a heart attack, I hope you know what to do.
Where you been, Harry?
Have we met? I don't recall.
We just did.
I told you, my name's Chili Palmer.
You're in pictures, right?
Did you ever stop to think what would happen if I had a heart attack?
- Look at me, Harry. - I'm looking at you.
I want you to keep looking at me, right here.
Well, that's what I'm doin'.
You know Dick Allen? Mesa's Casino?
That's what this is.
You're a collector for the fucking casino.
You come in here in the middle of the night.
I thought you were an actor auditioning, for Christ sakes.
We'll see about this.
Operator, let me have Las Vegas information.
Harry, let me give you some advice.
You don't want to act like a hard-on,
you're standing there in your undies.
What you want to do is sit down and talk to me.
- Harry, a marker is like a check. - I know what a marker is.
They don't want to deposit yours and have it bounce.
That annoys them.
And your dear friend Dick Allen's been calling you,
leaving messages on your machine, and you haven't gotten back to him,
so he asked me, as a favor, to look you up.
I follow you here, and I see you in a window with a woman,
looks a lot like Karen Flores, the actress from Grotesque.
You're not looking at me, Harry.
Why do I have to keep looking at you?
Because I want you to.
So now you're gonna get rough, huh?
I make good by tomorrow, or you're gonna break my legs?
Come on, Harry. Mesa's?
Tell Dick Allen I'll cover those markers in the next 60 days at the most.
If he doesn't like it, then that's his problem, the fucking prick.
So, you want me to call you a cab?
So you make movies, huh?
I produce feature motion pictures. No TV.
You mentioned Grotesque before?
That happens to be Grotesque. Part that Karen Flores was in.
She also starred in three of my Slime Creatures releases.
You may have seen them.
I got an idea for a movie.
Yeah, what did this guy look like?
You can't imagine what a pathetic little guy!
Is he one of these with the Bermuda shorts and the black socks?
No, no. Wait for this. Okay.
Leo, right? He would wear, like, plaid wool hats
in Miami in the middle of the summer.
He doesn't want anyone to think that he's bald, right,
so he'd be wearing a fuckin' cap!
Say hello to Chili Palmer.
Chili, this is Karen Flores.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Karen.
How'd you get in the house?
He's just telling me an idea for a movie.
It's not bad so far.
Sit down, have a drink.
Tell Karen. See what she thinks.
- Maybe you didn't hear me. - I came in the back door.
You broke in?
Well, it was open. Wasn't locked.
Well, what if it were?
You want to hear this idea?
It's about this dry cleaner
that scams the airline out of 300 grand. Tell her.
It's simple. It's basically about a guy who owes a shylock $15,000,
and he's about three weeks over on the vig.
- That's the interest you have to pay. - I know what vig is.
Anyway, this dry cleaner...
let's call him Leo, all right? He's scared.
He doesn't know any better. He leaves town.
So Leo gets on the plane. But the plane sits there... it doesn't move.
They announce over the PA system there's some kind of mechanical problem.
They'll be there maybe an hour.
"But keep your seats in case they get it fixed sooner."
So the guy's nervous and in no shape just to sit there.
Sweat it out, so he gets off the plane,
he goes into the cocktail lounge,
and he starts throwing them down. One after another.
As a matter of fact. He's still in the lounge
when the plane crashes on takeoff.
When the guy finds out it was his flight. He can't believe it.
If he had stayed on the plane, he'd be dead.
Right now, he knows his luck has changed.
If everybody thinks he's dead, he won't have to pay back the 15
or what he owes on the vig.
Keep going. Come on.
Since Leo's name was on the passengers list,
they bring his wife out to the airport, where they're going through
personal effects. Whatever wasn't burned up.
Leo's bags were on the plane.
So the wife tells them what to look for... things only she would know about.
Oh, my Leo! My Leo!
So a couple of days go by.
And the people from the airline come out to see his wife.
They tell her how sorry they are and all that their plane exploded.
And they offer her a settlement.
The amount based on what he would've earned
operating the dry cleaners the rest of his life.
So how much is the wife offered?
300 grand. So they take it. You know, money in the hand, babe.
So he gets his wife to cash the check,
and he takes off for Vegas with the dough.
He gets there and he's supposed to call her...
you know. Let her know when to come out.
She never hears from him again. But he's hot.
He runs the 300 grand up to half a million.
Then he comes back to L. A...
But it's driving the guy nuts because he's winning
and he can't tell anybody who he is.
So we show in a back story his motivation, his desire to be famous.
He's got the dough to buy his way in... mix with the celebs...
and he can't resist, so then he comes to L.A.
I don't know about the mixing with celebrities.
I mean, that's something new that was just added.
But yeah, he comes to L.A.,
and I don't know what happens after that.
What? That's it? That's your movie?
I said I had an idea for a movie.
That's half a movie with holes in it... maybe 40 minutes of screen time.
You don't have a girl... a female lead...
and on top of that, you don't have anybody to sympathize with.
- You don't have a good guy. - The shylock is the good guy.
The shylock is barely mentioned.
It's not believable that the wife would get a settlement that fast.
Harry doesn't realize it's a true story.
That Miami flight that went down was on the news every day for about a week.
Harry must have been busy.
- That's where you got the idea? - Part of it, yeah.
You're not the guy, are you... the dry cleaner?
Leo.
You wouldn't be talking to me if you were.
No, I'm not the guy, Harry.
But you do work for the casino?
Oh, for God's sakes, Harry! He's the shylock.
That right? That's what you do for a living?
That's what I did for a living until recently.
But after I'm done here, I don't know what I'm gonna do next.
Well, I got an early call.
No problemo, babe. Go on up to bed.
What I'm saying, Harry, is that I would like you
and your new buddy to get out of my house.
Oh, yeah, well, sure.
It was absolutely a pleasure to meet you, Karen.
I guess in your line of work,
there's times you have to get kinda rough, huh?
You know, in case one of your customers don't pay?
- They always pay. - Yeah? You pack a gun?
Not really.
You ever been arrested?
Well, I've been picked up
for loan sharking and racketeering, but never convicted, no.
I'm clean, Harry.
Racketeering.
That covers a lot of ground doesn't it?
Get to the point, Harry.
You want me to do something for you.
That's us.
Good girl.
Don't say nothing to me. Just sit down
and act like you're waiting for somebody that's supposed to meet you.
What the fuck you talkin' about? Don't nobody know me here.
- Give me the fuckin' money. - Sit down.
Now, be looking.
The man over to your right in the blue wool shirt, hanging out...
The other way. Derecho.
That's a federal officer... most likely D.E.A.
He moves his leg, you look for the bulge.
You savvy bulge? Good.
That's his backup piece.
Hey, try it without looking right at him if you can.
- What's your name? - Yayo Portillo.
All right, Yayo, you know he's there. Just forget about him.
I'm gonna get up. Soon as I'm gone, you sit down in this same seat I'm in.
You'll feel something under your ass.
That's a key to a locker where your half million is,
along with some product we're returning.
Powder's been stepped on so many times, it's baby food.
You're supposed to give me the money yourself.
Try to be cool, Yahoo.
I told you where it is.
You do it just how I told you, and you have a safe trip home.
What'd you have for breakfast, baby? What'd you have for breakfast?
How come you weigh so much? You have a burrito?
Give it to the nice lady. There you go.
Sorry.
Getting chocolate all over you. Say thank you. Bye-bye.
Hi.
Like fucking clockwork, huh, Bear?
Hi, Bo.
Hey, Farrah. You ready to go for a ride, sweetie?
Yeah.
Told you to watch your mouth around my daughter.
The white zone is for loading and unloading only.
These guys, my investors, they run a limo service.
They came to me originally,
put some money in a few of my pictures.
Did okay. They're happy.
This was back a few months ago when I was planning
what would be my next picture,
about this band of killer circus freaks that travel around the country
leaving bodies in their wake.
There's a 700-pound fat lady
has a way of seducing guys... gets them in her trailer.
Harry, look at me.
You're trying to tell me
that you fucked up without sounding stupid,
and that's hard to do.
Let's talk about where you're at, okay?
You blew 200 grand of these limo guys' money
on a football game in Vegas, and you didn't tell them. Now, why?
They don't seem like the type of guys
that would take it with any understanding or restraint.
First thing they'd do is break my legs.
You got that on the brain,
but if you were so scared, why did you take it to Vegas to begin with?
I needed a half million dollars to buy a script.
- A movie script? - Blockbuster, but quality.
No mutants or maniacs.
This is gonna be my Driving Miss Daisy.
Murray Saffrin, the guy that wrote it... did all my Grotesque pictures...
had it in his drawer for 20 years.
He shows it to me one day,
and he says he's got a major star interested, would I produce it?
Which star?
Two-time Academy-award nominee Martin Weir.
That's Martin Weir. He's the one that played
the mob guy turned snitch in Cyclone.
One of his best parts.
His best part was when he played the crippled gay guy
that climbed Mount Whitney.
Ride the Clouds. Good picture.
That woman... she looks familiar.
She's a rock star.
Every day, same time, they come down here and have breakfast.
He faces west so he can see his billboard.
She faces east as an excuse to wear her shades.
Unbelievable.
Anyway, Murray has a shrink
who happens to be Martin's personal trainer's shrink.
Murray gives the shrink the script.
The shrink gives it to Martin's trainer,
who reads it to Martin as they work out.
- Martin loves it. He flips. - So, what's the problem?
The problem is Murray. Heart attack.
Doris, Murray's widow,
she finds out about this Martin Weir thing,
and because Murray and I never had a written contract,
she wants half a million bucks for the script.
You want me to put you next to my dry cleaner
so he can invest in your movie.
That, or I was thinking,
what if some tragic accident were to befall the widow Saffrin?
No, Harry, I'm not gonna pop her, okay?
It was just a thought.
I tell you what I can do.
I can meet with these limo guys, tell them to leave you alone for a while,
make the point in a way they can understand.
You don't know these guys.
Believe me, I know them a whole lot better than you do.
I once asked this literary agent what kind of writing paid the best.
He said ransom notes.
Ransom notes.
Here it is... Mr. Lovejoy.
"Lovejoy sits behind the wheel, watching a bar across the street,
getting his video camera..." What, is he following someone?
Read it. It's a grabber.
Harry, I think your investors are here.
- Oh, Jesus. - All right, this is the plan.
I want the limo guys to sit in these chairs, not on the couch.
You got that?
Yeah.
No. Keep the blinds open.
I want the light in their eyes.
I'm gonna sit at the desk.
I don't want you to introduce me. Just start talking.
I want you to stand here behind them as they sit down, you understand?
They'll be looking at you, but they don't know who you are.
They'll be saying, "Who is this guy?"
But you don't say anything. Do not tell them who I am, okay?
- I gotta say something to them. - No, you don't.
Don't say any more than you have to,
unless you want to say something like,
"Glad you assholes stopped by. Now I can straighten you out."
You're kidding, right?
Just say the movie's been postponed a year,
but don't tell them why.
Whatever you do, don't say anything about Mr. Lovejoy. You got that?
All right. Let's go.
- Hey, Ronnie. - Hey, Harry. Hi.
Wow!
What year is it, man? We enter a time warp?
I feel like I'm in Hollywood of yesteryear.
- Have a seat right there. - Cool.
This is my associate Chili Palmer.
He's gonna be working with me.
Just so there's no misunderstanding,
despite the rumors you might have heard,
your investment in Freaks is just as solid
as the day you signed your participation agreement.
I can hear you, man, but where the fuck are you?
Right here.
What I've been wondering is, where's he been?
Yeah. Where you been, Harry? We haven't heard from you lately.
New York. I was interviewing actors, scouting locations.
The main thing is that Freaks
is gonna be put off for a couple of months.
- A couple of months? - Yeah.
Just a couple of months.
We need more... prep.
Hey, Harry, bullshit, man. We have an agreement with you.
No, no, we're gonna do this picture. We are going to do this picture.
I just have another project to do first, one I've promised this guy for years.
I want to see your books, Harry.
Just show me where it is...
a two with five zeros after it in black and white.
I want to see your books, I want to see your fuckin' bank statements...
Hey, Ronnie, look at me.
You have a piece of a movie, that's all. Not a piece of Harry.
If he wants to do another movie this year, that's how it's gonna be.
Excuse me, bro, but who the fuck are you?
I'm the one telling you how it is.
Catlett.
What is this other movie you're doing first, Harry?
- Let me show... - Harry, let me answer this one.
First of all, who am I talking to...
am I talking to him or am I talking to you?
You can talk to me.
That's what I thought. Let me put it this way.
Outside of Freaks. It's none of your fuckin' business what we do.
Oh! Here it is right here.
This is the project... Mr. Lovejoy.
I don't want you guys to think that I'm trying to put something over on you.
Mr. Loveboy... what is it, Harry... a porno flick?
It's fluff. You wouldn't be interested in it.
You think we go to see your movies? I've seen better film on teeth.
It makes no difference to me which one our money's in,
so how about you just take our 20 points out of Freaks
and put 'em in this other one, this Mr. Loverboy.
No. I can't do that.
You're positive about that?
Yeah. It's a different kind of deal.
It's... structured.
Okay.
Then be good enough to hand us our money back,
or you think about us coming in on this new deal.
You let us know.
By Friday, man, or you're fuckin' dead as disco. You hear me?
Take your time, Harry.
We're not animals, are we, Ronnie?
What?
Maybe I wasn't clear,
but I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut.
I had to tell them something.
Harry, never say anything unless you have to.
You asked me to get these guys off your back,
and the next thing I know, you're saying, "Have a piece of Mr. Lovejoy."
I couldn't believe my fuckin' ears.
I told them that I would think about it.
In this town, what does that mean? Nothing.
Well, that's the difference between you and me, Harry.
I say what I mean.
If I want something from someone, I ask them straight out.
If I want Martin Weir, I go get Martin Weir.
I don't fuck around with his trainer's shrink.
Shrink's trainer.
Take me back to my car.
- Yeah? - Tommo, Chili.
Hey. Where you been? Been calling all over foryou.
Ray Bones is looking foryou. Where the hell are you?
- I'm in L.A. Now. - What are you doing out there?
I'm going into the movie business.
'M thinking about producing.
What the fuck do you know about making movies?
I don't think the producer has to know much.
Think you're full of shit or a chump.
I gotta go.
Call me when you know more about Ray Bones.
Karen, how you doing?
What are you doing here?
Listen, I wanted to come by and apologize for breaking in
the way I did last night.
Let me get this straight.
You broke in again to apologize for breaking in before?
No, no. Your patio door was open.
You shouldn't do that. You got a lot of nice things in this house.
Well, make sure you lock it on the way out.
You had a bad day, huh?
I spent all day crawling out of a grave.
The director said I was incapable
of reaching the emotional core of the character.
What?
Obviously, he didn't see you in Bride of the Mutant.
You saw that one?
When you turn to the camera
and you say to the alien mother that her time on Earth is finished,
Joan Crawford on her best day
wished that she had had in her day,
the emotion, the intensity that you had in that scene.
Well, that was a good scene... I mean, for a horror movie.
No, for any movie.
I know I'm better than what I've been doing all these years,
walking around in fuck-me pumps and a tank top,
waiting till it was time to scream.
- Yeah, but what a scream. - Yeah, it's a real gift.
Look, all I'm sayin' is, it would be nice to get the chance
to say one great line,
like in that great Bette Davis movie Cabin in the Cotton.
Where she walks up to the guy on the porch,
gives him a flirty look, and says, "I'd kiss you, but I just washed my hair."
Great line. How come you don't do movies with Harry anymore?
'Cause I married the great Martin Weir.
He was a full-time job.
Have you read Harry's new script?
No.
He says it's the best thing he's ever read.
He must mean after Slime Creatures.
Was that why Harry came over last night...
to ask you to help him put Martin in a movie?
Harry's dreaming of a $40 million production
he'll never get off the ground with a star he'll never sign
with or without my help.
- He said Martin flipped over it. - Martin's known for his flipping.
He flips over a script,
then when it comes time to make a deal, he flips out.
Why don't I go over to Harry's office and pick you up a copy of the script,
and you can read it yourself, see what you think?
- Don't go out of your way. - No, no. It's nothing.
I better go have a talk with Leo, my runaway dry cleaner.
Right. See how your story ends.
You know, that movie Touch of Evil is playing near my hotel.
We could go check it out if you want,
go watch Charlton Heston be a Mexican.
That's all right. Another time.
See ya around.
See ya.
Hi. My name is Ray.
I'm a friend of Chili Palmer's.
Have you spoken with Mr. Palmer since your husband blew up?
Oh, uh... once or twice.
And what was it you talked about?
- Nothing really. This and that. - This and that?
I want us to be friends, I really do,
and we all know that friends don't hit each other...
unless they have to.
So what do you say we start all over again,
and you tell me exactly what the fuck is goin' on.
Huh? Okay?
Good evening, sir.
And a very good evening to you, too, sir.
Thank you.
Leo, look at me.
I'd have never thought you'd be so dumb,
leaving over 300 grand in the closet under an extra blanket,
but I guess you are.
I didn't know where else to keep it.
Where would you?
- How about a bank? - No. They'd report it to the IRS.
You don't open an account.
You put it in a safe deposit box, you dip in it whenever you want.
- How did you know that I was here? - I'll give you another tip.
Next time you write to your wife, don't use hotel stationery.
It was Fay, wasn't it, told you about the money?
What, she tell you my whole life history, for Christ sake?
Leo, I'm here to save your ass.
How? By taking my money?
No. You get to keep the money that you won today. That's yours.
It's all mine.
Leo, sit down.
I don't know how you got this far, you're so fuckin' dumb,
but you're through, and I'm gonna explain why.
I hope you're not so dumb that you won't understand.
Ray Bones is the man that you're dealin' with now,
and when Bones finds out what you did, he's gonna take everything,
including the sporty little hat you got on your head,
and then most likely he'll shoot you so you won't tell on him.
Now, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Now, you've got $310,000 in the bag here.
I'm gonna take the 300 you scammed from the airlines,
and the ten that's left over, I'm gonna borrow from you
and pay back at another time.
Wait. You take all my money, but you're borrowing part of it?
At 18%.
Now, don't ask another fuckin' question. I'm leaving now.
But you won't know where I am. I mean, I don't even know where I'll be.
I'll find you, Leo.
You leave a trail like a fuckin' caterpillar.
Hey.
Hey, wait a minute. What's this 18% a year shit?
You want to borrow 10, the vig is three bills a week.
That's 15 for the vig plus the 10.
That's 25 big ones, you go the whole year, buddy.
Hey, you hear me?
This is good, this Mr. Lovejoy.
It needs a better ending, but, yes, I can see why Harry wants to do it.
You understand, I knew Harry was lying,
saying this wasn't any good but holding on to it like, man,
you'd have to break his fingers to get it away from him.
That's funny, because I was thinking,
What am I gonna have to break of yours to get it away from you?
Now, I'm explaining to you what I'm doing here,
in case you thought I came to rob the place
or rip off any of this dusty old shit that the man has.
I wouldn't make you out to be a burglar. Not in that outfit.
Harry called you his associate. What does that mean?
I never heard your name
or read it in The Hollywood Reporter
or Variety or anyplace.
Just what he said. I'm his associate.
You must bring something heavy to the deal.
I do. Me.
It says here you're getting Martin Weir for the part of Lovejoy?
- That's right. We're getting Martin. - Come on.
How you gonna do that?
I'm gonna take a gun, I'm gonna put it to his head,
and I'm gonna say, "Sign the fuckin' papers, Martin,
or you're dead." That's it.
I wonder... would that work?
You know who I see for the part of Al Roxy?
Harvey Keitel. Man could play it in his sleep.
He was pretty good in that movie Fingers.
Missed that one.
You know who else? Morgan Freeman.
You know Morgan's work?
Morgan Freeman. He's a colored guy, though.
So what?
Where does it say in the script the man's got to be white?
Color's what the part needs, man.
You need somebody to do it with some style.
What do you think of the script?
The first thing that's gotta go is the title.
This writer's name, Murray Saffrin, would be better than Lovejoy.
I'm with you on that one.
You know what I'm thinking? Why don't you and I, we sit down,
we write the script over where it needs it.
You could write one of these?
There's nothing to it.
All you do, you get an idea,
you set down what you want to say on paper,
then hire somebody else to fill in the commas and shit where they belong
if you're not positive yourself.
Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words...
although I've seen some scripts,
I know the words weren't spelled right,
there was hardly any commas in it at all!
So I don't think that's too important.
All right, you get to the end.
You write in "fade out." You're done.
- That's it. - That's all there is to it?
Then what the fuck do I need you for?
Because I'm offering my services on this one, man.
I'll tell you what.
If I need a ride sometime, I'll let you know.
How could you arrest me here? This is my country.
This is where you're gonna die.
That wasn't no misfire. That was just to turn you around.
Don't wanna shoot you in the back.
Unless you'd rather... try to run for it.
Schwartz. Is she there? Did you bring my wife?
She's in the car. They've got it all on tape.
- You sure you got enough? - Go play it back. You'll see.
- How many did you frame? - You better give me that gun.
Okay. Here it is.
"That's the second bullet I stopped for you."
You're goin' down, Orson.
Sn't somebody going to come and take him away?
Yeah. In just a few minutes. You really liked him. Didn't you?
"The cop did."
- The one who killed him. - "He loved him."
Hank was a great detective. All right.
"But a lousy cop."
S that all you have to say for him?
He was some kind of a man.
What does it matter what you say about people?
Good-bye. Tana.
Adios.
Wow, huh?
You been here the whole time?
No. I just caught the end.
You know, Welles didn't even want to do this movie.
He had some studio contract he couldn't get out of,
but sometimes you do your best work
when you got a gun to your head.
Yeah.
I brought you a copy of the script.
I already read it. Harry left a copy at the house.
- How did you like it? - It's not horrible.
I don't like the title and I don't like some of the characters in it.
- So you read it. - I haven't read it, but I will.
- You and Harry'll make a great team. - Is that right?
Listen, I'm gonna make a deal with him.
Oh, good, you found a character you like for yourself?
No. I don't want to act in it, I want to produce it,
especially if I help him get Martin.
Hey, that's fair, huh?
Yeah. So, what do you get out of it?
Is that why you come down here, to ask me that?
I want to know.
Why would anyone want to be in the movies?
Yesterday you were a loan shark.
Yeah, but I was never that into it,
especially this bullshit about having respect.
Forget about it.
It's bad enough treating these guys like they're your heroes,
smiling at stupid comments they think are so funny.
You think the movie business is any different?
Yeah, but I like movies,
and I figure if I help Harry make a movie, I'll find out what to do
outside of raising money and having an idea.
That doesn't sound so hard.
I mean, I was in on the money business,
and I have a lot of ideas floatin' around in my head.
Listen, I'm gonna talk to Martin tomorrow morning.
I told Harry that I'd meet you and him at the Abiquiu restaurant afterwards.
This just might work out.
- You never know. - Just might.
Adios.
I spent eight hours at the airport looking at people's bulges.
I don't like that.
This is not the way we do business.
You two do not know who you are messing with.
Listen to me. I don't want no fucking key, okay?
I want the money.
You gonna smoke, you get the hell off my $70-a-yard carpet.
Now, I told you where the money is. All you got to do is go and get it.
No. I tell you something.
I go to that airport, and I open that locker and they bust me,
I tell them I come to get something for you.
- That's all I know. - That's all you know, huh?
- That's all I know. - Wait here. I'll be back directly.
Keep an eye on Yahoo for me.
That's the way you get things done.
What the fuck you gonna do with that?
I'm taking you out, Yahoo.
You see that... the way the man just went right over?
Maybe we could get Chili Palmer up here.
You could fix my railing to give way
like they do in the movies.
I invite the man up here to have a look at my view,
get him to lean over the railing...
That's the dumbest idea I ever heard.
Here's the thing, Bear. I want to produce movies.
What's the point of living in L.A. Unless you're in the movie business?
And I mean high up in it.
That's the reason why Harry's gonna produce this Mr. Lovejoy with me,
not Chili Palmer.
I can't believe this map is accurate.
I bought it for ten bucks from a kid sitting on a lawn chair on Sunset.
You were supposed to meet me at the restaurant.
I know, but look at this... it says, "Martin Weir's house,
across the street from George Hamilton."
That must be George... Nicole?
Jesus, it is you! It's Nicki now. I don't believe this!
- I know her. - Hi, Nicki.
Karen, shit, I didn't see you there. How are you?
Come in, baby. You got to come in. You gotta meet Martin.
Where have you been? What have you been doing?
Chili was the only one at Momo's didn't try to hit on me.
Oh, what a gentleman.
- Do you like my hair? Black? - Oh, nice. Especially under the arms.
Martin won't let me shave.
Guess I fill some need... takes him back to the '60s or something.
Speak of the devil.
- Karen, look at you. - Hi, Martin.
You smell so good. She always smells so good.
- Neat. Martin, this is Chili Palmer. - Chili, is it?
Nice to meet you, Martin.
Chili's a gangster... ran a club I used to play at
for another gangster back in Miami.
How is Momo these days anyway?
- Dead. - Bummer.
I'll let you get to your movie talk.
Chili, do not leave without saying good-bye to me.
So?
You know how beautiful you are?
You really are beautiful.
I'm sitting here. I'm...
...looking at you and having flashbacks of memories of us.
Really?
Yeah, and I'm wondering... how did it go wrong?
How did it all slip away?
It didn't slip away, Martin.
You did when you went off to fuck Nicki at my birthday party.
Yeah. That was a good party.
Marty, you were so good in that movie The Cyclone.
Martin. Yeah. It was a beautiful role.
All I had to do was find the character's center...
the stem I used to wind him up... and he'd play, man.
He'd just play.
You had that down cold. If I didn't know better,
I'd have thought you was a made guy.
- Thank you. - I mean, no acting there, right?
And the fink part. Oh, man. Jesus Christ.
I never met a fink, and I hope to God I never do,
but the way you played a fink, that's how it's gotta be, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Two weeks before we started shooting,
I went back to Bensonhurst just to hear you guys talk.
See, I'm Italian, but I grew up in Tarzana,
so I wanted to get the nythms of your speech, you know.
Oh, we speak differently?
Well, it's more like your attitude, your tone.
Your speech patterns demonstrate a certain confidence in yourselves,
in your opinions, your indifference to conventional views.
You know, it's like...
- Like we don't give a shit. - Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
Anyway, once I get the authentic sounds of speech,
the rhythms, the patois, you know,
I can actually get into their heads.
I can actually think the way those guys do. Get inside.